Saturday, January 14, 2012

Parenting- Yes I Can!

Being a parent is never easy. Because of our own misgivings. Habits. Character. Disciplinary methods. Parents are not know-it-all , are not superhuman with no moodswings. They too have past errors or sometimes past childhood secrets that they try not to let repeat - in their own method of teaching. Wrong or right? Everything is a trial and error- but most importantly parents tried - and I think as a child we need to understand and forgive if not try to forgive.

Today I was helping out at the mcys parenting yes I can! 2012 event. After talking to the mcys/family centers staff first and foremost I would like to say thank you! Because of your dedication you support the change of the children for better, hold the hands of both parents and children and help them understand the 'language' that each coveys. Don't be discouraged. I am sure every effort made will somehow bear fruits. One way or another.

Workshop:Rethink parenting I can do it - the strength comes from believe 相信就有力量

We all have expectations for our teenagers. And to them, these expectations could be burdensome. The children will try to challenge the expectations and they want to take risk to show you that they can . if they do not have good self esteem or good worth at home they will try and find it outside- so make them realize they can find love at home and help them to moderate the changes especially during their puberty teenage years - around 13 years old or so.

And parents pls be aware of what you say or how you react - to the children they are thinking: If you can use this language to scold me so why can't I ? If you don't respect me why should I respect you. A solution: Walk away during anger - calm down to handle the situation. Let them know 我们永远支持你 and that you will always be supporting them. At times, children know they are wrong but they do not know how to turn back when peer pressure and pride is on them . Sometimes they share their thoughts with parents but parents are defensive eg they come back from school and complains how their teacher pick on them and parents use it against them judging and saying it must be you behaving badly in class - the children see how their parents Judge them. What is in your mind is conveyed through attitude and expression - and this creates mistrust and doubt - where the children feel their parents are superficial and are not sincere.
And for parents whose children keeps going on and on with " I want this. Want that." Do not reject outrightly. Discuss it with them" Why do you need a computer upgrade?" Or tell let me think about it and come back with an answer. Do not answer : you think we print money? You keep asking me for money! Important: listen. If you do not listen The children will not say. 你孩子心里怎样 look into their eyes. Put down all distraction. Stop all the 酸讽刺 you think you have wings now can fly? - respect must be show through daily activities through listening. Action. Talking during dinner etc. Children do not want to listen to your 大道理. Let your children feel that you respect them.

Most importantly have you encourage and compliment your children? 你最近称赞/鼓励孩子是几时?我做的东西什么都错! 接纳孩子的情绪。action: have a meal together per week. 爱的语言与他同行。我关心你我爱护你 on the surface as if they do not care - but they do. You must believe that one day your children will say thank you to you. For you to be able to love your children. You must love yourself first. Get support from your close ones. Do not walk thia journey alone. 要爱自己!爱了自己才有力量爱别人!要感受周围有支持:周围的人也经历过。

Lastly, pls give all children chances to change. Put away your colored lenses and open your heart to them. Relationship all comes with hurt but let your love be the medicine to the scars.

The songs that the boys from boys home and girls from girls home sang. I cried - because I felt their heart felt message inside the song.

Ending off with an invention by the boys from boys' home. A robot. Amazing potential with guidance. Lets play our part by being a supporter.

For parents, below are family centers which you can seek help or advice when needed.

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